Keith Danielson .vs. Mr. Fox(c)

[Sean Cage]

All roleplays for this match are to be posted here

3 Stages Of Hell Match
Fall #1.) First Blood
Fall #2.) Bull Rope match. Competitors must touch all 4 corners to win the match.
Fall #3.) TLC(if needed)
FOW World Title is on the line
450 Words Minimum
Deadline is 12 AM Eastern Friday(7/25/08)

[Keith Danielson]

*Scene opens with Keith sitting on a bench, feeling the effects of the events that went down during his match with the sonic taker. He pours a cold bottle of water over his head. Then heads for the shower, noticeably hurtin'. As he's in the shower, Lenny Jennings comes in to get a word with the former champ. Keith steps out of the shower, and walks out to where Jennings is waiting.*

Keith: "Oh, Hey Lenny, how's it going buddy? How's the family?"

Leny Jenning: (Looking away) "Keith......Towel.....Please....for god sakes!!!"

Keith: "Oh damn!!! Sorry about that, I left my towel out here in my bag.......woops"

*Keith grabs a towel that looks like a big beach towle with Spongebob Square pants all over it, he dries off real quick and then throws some clothes on*

Keith: "Okay Lenny, We're good to go. What did you need?"

Lenny Jennings: "Well, after tonight, me and about a million other people are wandering if your going to be ready for a match like the 3 stages of hell? I mean, you took a hell of a beating out their tonight"

Keith: "Lenny, Lenny, Lenny.....We're talking about a 3 stages of hell.....with Mr. Fox. Come on, I've gone through a whole heck of alot worse situations than that.....I mean, have you ever had to eat my grandma's meatloaf, then listen to grandpa talk about the friggin war that never happened, followed by an accidental walk-in on my grandma while she was in the bathroom? Blaaahhhh!!! I mean, heck, that's a 3 stages of hell I dont ever wanna have to go through ever again, but I survived it. You call this match a 3 stages of hell, HA!"

Lenny: "Keith, I know that the whole grandparent thing must've been horific, but lets get serious here. First, you and Fox have to go through a 'First Blood' Match....

Keith Danielson: Whoa, whoa, whoa buck-o.....you wanna talk about first blood. By The Time the PPV gets here, Mr. Fox is gonna be squirting blood out of his ass due to.......wait, can I say ass on TV?......Oh well....anyway, he's gonna be squirting blood out of his ass due to my foot being so far up it!!! So that round will be over before it friggin begins......Next?"

Lenny: "OOOOKay then, after that, we have your choice....the bull rope match, where you and Mr. Fox will be strapped together....and the first man to tag all four corners of the ring, wins. Thats not an easy task..."

Keith: "Are you kiddin' me? Have you ever seen 'ol Keith with a rope? I won the amateur hog tying contest thingy back in '95. Grant it, my competition was missing an arm, but hey.....that's how it goes. But anyway, I'll jerk that jerk all over the ring, tapping....or tagging, whatever you wanna call it......every corner of the ring and tag hands with some of the fans in the process, Ha....He doesn't stand a chance Lenny"

Lenny: "Well, judging by your theory, there will be no 3rd stage, the TLC match. But what if....what IF...there was?"

Keith: "One thing's for sure Lenny, you humor me. (Shaking his head abnoxiously) Have you ever seen Keith in a TLC Match?"

Lenny: "Uh.....Not that I can recall"

Keith: "........Oh Yea, ......Me Neither. But that's besides the point. I can climb a ladder faster than my good friend Lew Cameron can shout out PISS, shit, fuck, and ASS. Sorry Lenny, he has tourettes. But you get my point. Mr. Fox doesn't stand a snowballs chance in heaven....."

Lenny: "Uh...I Believe it's .....A snowballs chance in hell"

Keith: "Whatever Mr. Know it all....the point being, Mr. Fox is gonna get his ankle snapped in more places than he's been in jail. So, therefore, if....and that's a big IF...there's a 3rd stage, he won't be able to climb no damn ladder. And just for shits and giggles, I'll put him through a table with the great american slam, just to whatch him suffer! Now, get me a damn milk and make sure you check the expiration date, I can't stand cottage cheese."

*The interview comes to an end with Lenny getting Keith a fresh milk. Keith opens it and holds it way up in the air and chugs it, with most of it running down his chin and chest. So much for a shower

[Keith Danielson]

(4 days later)

*Scene opens just outside of the local junkyard, where Keith Danielson is clad in all black clothes including a black ski mask pulled up on top of his forehead. He's got black shoe polish all over his face. He creeps along the outside fence, with the camera man, when he suddenly stops. He turns and looks into the camera, just under a sign that reads "Beware of the Dog" and just above that is another sign that reads "Warning: Electronic fence"*

Keith Danielson: (Whispering) "Now I know your all wandering why I am in this rundown neighborhood, just outside a delapitated Junkyard? Well, My sources tell me that this is where that (Getting louder) no good, title stealin, (Getting Even louder) machine gun wielding,........."

Camera Man: "Shhhh!!!! Keith, your going to get us caught. I don't know about you, but if Mr. Ryder finds out I participated in something like this.....I'm going to get fired!"

*Keith, a little shaky, tries to play it cool and shakes his head "Okay, Okay" to the camera man*

Keith Danielson: "I brought along a rope to scale this fence, now kids......do not try any of this at home, unless one night you just happen to get locked out of your......"

Camera Man: "Keith! Get to the point!!!!"

Keith: "Oh......yea, the point. Okay, I brought along this rope to scale this here fence......once I am inside, my sources tell me that Mr. Fox sleeps in a blue.....(Looks at a piece of paper he pulls out of his sock) ...Yes, a BLUE suburban....which is missing the top roof........(To himself)...Wow, times must be really hard......But anyway, once I climb over and make it to the suburban....

Camera Man: "Keith, are you sure you wanna do this? It says "Beware of Dog" and that's an electric fence...."

Keith Danielson: "What? Those? (Points to the signs) they just put those up their to scare people away, but they weren't expecting 'ol keith here to show up. I don't scare easy! Now, keep a look out for the police......me and jail do not mix well together..."

*As Keith tosses the rope over the fence, the camera man turns around. He looks down the street, and see's nothing. He looks up the street, and see's nothing again. As he turns to look back down the street......here here's Keith making a loud ruccus. He turns around, and Keith is shaking and almost glowing from the electric fence until he finally drops to the ground.*

Camera Man: "Keith........Keith......are you alright man? get up, your going to get us caught!!!"

*After a few moments, keith staggers to his feet*

Keith: (Wiping the slobber off of his chin) "Well looky there, the darn thing does work. All we need to do is find the fuse box."

*Several minutes go by, and Keith finds the fuse box. Not sure of what to do, keith just starts pulling fuse's. In the background, we see the city lights off in the distance.....going on and off....on and off....and so on.*

Keith: "There, that should do it. Now let me try this again......"

*Keith tosses the rope over the top of the fence again*

Camera Man: "Keith!!! Hey.....psss.....Keith! What about the dog sign?"

Keith: "Oh that? Puh-lease, you think they would have a dog AND an electric fence? now.....make sure the coast is clear!"

*Keith begins to climb up the fence, pulling himself up with the rope, as the camera man looks down the road.....and see's nothing, then he looks up the road.....and still see's nothing. Then he hears Keith hitting the ground on the other side of the fence, and whispering loud "IT'S OKAY, I ONLY HURT MY FACE". The camera man looks back up the road, and see's nothing, then he hears Keith making some more ruccus, and when he turns around.....he see's that a doberman pincher has Keith's leg in his mouth.....jerking his head back and fourth like a ........WATCHDOG. Keith is beginning to panic....*

Keith: (In a panic, shakey tone) "Nice doggy, now let go of my leg. PLEASE......oh man, I think I just pee'd a little. Nice doggy, now let go.....of....mY....LEEEEGGGGG!!!"

*The Camera man thinks he hears a car coming and turns around to look up the road, at about that time....we hear the dog let out a big YELP. Startled, the camera man whips the camera around and see's Keith still laying on the ground......but the doberman is now limping away and still yelping as he disappears into the darkness.*

Keith: "Well what'ya know, they had a friggin' dog two?? damn! Ok, I know.....I know we gotta hurry, so....I am going to go get that convict, I'm gonna snap his ankle in two, just like I did that friggin' dog! I'm not waiting for the PPV! It's true Buster, it's damn true!!! When I get back, toss the rope over so I can get out, got it! good!"

*Keith pulls the ski mask down over his face*

Keith: (Loud) "Whoa!! Why in the heck did it just get so friggin' dark man?"

Camera Man: "Keith, the ski mask......it's on backwards. Turn it around buddy..............and there ya go!"

Keith: (Embarrassed) "Just messing......with ya. Ok, I'll be right back, with one Mr. Fox!!!!"

*Keith pulls the ski mask down, concealing his face, and then takes off running. The camera slowly pans out, turning around to see keep a look out. A few minutes later, the camera man can here feet pattering real fast and keith yelling at the top of his lungs*

Keith: "DOGS!!!.......THEY'VE GOT MORE DOGS!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! SAVE YOURSELF!!!!"

*Keith hits the fence, only to be electricuted again, the camera man turns around to see Keith being mauled by 4 other Dobermans*

Keith: "Nice Doggies......let go of my arm, leg, and head. (Keith lets out a pitiful cry)....Pleeeaassseeee, I'm begging ya.....let me gooooooooo!!!! I didn't mean to hurt your friend."

*The camera man can be heard laughing, realizing that Keith isn't being hurt too bad. After several minutes of being mauled, Keith pulls a pork-chop out of his pants pocket and tosses it, the dogs go running and Keith finally makes it over the top of the fence*

Keith: "Screw it! I'll just save it for the PPV......Wewww!!!"

Camera man: "Uh....you always carry a pork chop around in your pocket?"

Keith: "Well yea! Never know when I'm gonna get hungry"

*Scene slowly comes to an end with Keith and the camera man walking off into the dark. Half of keith's ass cheeck is hanging out from where the dogs mauled him, and he's missing one shoe.....along with his ski mask, and has a bloody nose.*