Keith Danielson .vs. The Deviant One

[Jayson Ryder]

All roleplays for this match are to be posted here

FOW World Championship is on the line!
The Tower Of Hell Match
450 Words Minimum
Deadline is 11 PM Eastern Friday(5/9/08)

[Keith Danielson]

*Keith danielson is seen sitting in a bingo hall, playing bingo with the old folks. He's on the verge of winning and just needs one more number called to win it*

Bingo Announcer: "B-14"

"Keith slams down his fist in a fit of anger*

Keith Danielson: "Dammit!!! I wanted B-15. That's it, I am convinced this game is rigged. Just because I am not sitting in my own poop and smelling like ben-gay, doesn't mean I cant win. You people have been winning since back before the war, it's time to pass the damn torch already!!!!"

*Keith gets up and swipes one of the old folks Bingo cards, claiming that his card is rigged to lose. He gives the old folk his card and the next game begins. Right off the bat, Keith gets 3 numbers in a row.*

Keith Danielson: "Ya see, what did I tell ya? That freakin' card has a curse on it simply because I am young, hot, and sexy!!!! Now, every body get ready....I am about to yell BING-O!!!"

*A few more numbers are called, but Keith just sits their, squirming in his seat and getting impatient. He peaks over at the old folk who has his old card and see's that he's on the brink of winning also, all he needs is one number. Keith tries to distract the old man......*

Keith Danielson: "Hey buddy, Look over there....."

*The old man looks, just as the next number is called. But the old lady sitting next to him tells him he won, so the man Yells Bing-O*

Keith: "Wait, wait.....he stold my card!!! That's my freakin' card!!!!"

*Keith tries to take the card from the old man, but several of the old folks start hitting Keith with their canes. Keith Ducks under the table to get away, but ends up looking straight into the crotch of some old lady. Now Keith is turning 14 shades of blue, trying to be quiet. But he cant hold it in and pukes all over the crotch of the old lady.*

Old Lady: "Hey sunny, If you wanted some....all you had to do was ask....it's been 48 years since I've been with a man.....I'm not gonna be picky now"

*The old lady grabs keith by the head and starts rubbing his face in places that Keith just assume not be. Keith is groaning, sounding like he is being tortured. He pleads for her to let go, but the old lady is having a good 'ol time. Finally, Keith breaks loose and gets away from the angry old folks.....and the one happy old lady*

Keith: "You people are Just sick! I come here to celebrate me being in a world title match this sunday night, and end up being a rape victim? Fine!!!! But listen to this, while I am busy winning the world championship this sunday.....where are all of you going to be??? huh? I'll tell ya.....I'll tell ya where you'll be.......You'll be in some hospital bed having some Lady named Hilda changing your freakin' diapers!!! Because I am taking back the free tickets I handed out when I got here tonight!!!! Oh it's true......It's damn True!!!"

"Keith turns around to walk out of the Bingo hall and can be heard uttering the words......."

Keith: "Now let me go get ready for my damn match. Bunch of freakin' weirdo's."

[The Deviant One]

*The scene opens with the Deviant One walking backstage making his way out to the ring. As soon as his theme music, Let's Go to war by the Murderdolls play and his pyrotechnics blast the audience throws mixed emotions of cheers and boos. Roderick ignoring it still has a stone cold look on his face gets into the ring and demands the sound-guy to hand him a microphone*

*Clears his throat, as to get the audience's attention*

Uhh, humm........Now as many of you know, this Sunday I have the OPPORTUNITY to receive my FIRST championship EVER in this industry! And it's the FOW World Championship, the biggest prize in FOW! And it's in some match called the Tower of Hell!
Now I'm NOT sure on what this match persists of or how it will even look but the match itself sounds just so sadistic, so violent, sounds painful, sounds......like fun! See many people think a cage itself is dangerous.......but they've got that all WRONG! It's NOT the cage that's dangerous.......No it's the GUY locked inside the cage that's dangerous!

See in this match.....me and my opponent, you're "American hero" will be locked inside a 20 foot cage together and will try and attempt to do bodily harm to one another to capture the FOW Title that's latched onto a pole! The way this sounds seems like many people would find this VERY discomforting and unpleasurable......but to me, well it'll feel just like HOME!

When you people think of violence, chaos, destruction.....I AM WHO YOU FIRST THINK OF on the FOW Roster! There is NOBODY and I mean NOBODY......More brilliant, more built *Flexes, and rolls his shoulders back*, and more perfect than I am!

*The deviant One then climbs to the top turnbuckle and poses as the crowd chants various things to him like "Roderick Takes 'Roids" or "Roderick Sucks dick" He then climbs down the turnbuckles and begins to speak again*

Now I realize that sure.....you've had some tough opponents to beat BUT last week.....you won over a DQ! I mean come on you had to cheat at bingo against a bunch of old-timers who started to beat the ever living hell out of you…….Now imagine what I’ll do, to you! Sure I’m nursing my ribs from the Three Way Match I had against an over-sized steroid induced face painted gorilla who I spine busted through a table in my debut match, named Pure Evil, and some bitch who only made it to the semi-finals due to that lunatic the Demon barber! Hell I beat every opponent I've had in the ring and I've made my presence known since I first appeared inside that bar and stared the entire roster down!

And this Sunday like I ALWAYS say......I WILL let my actions tell the whole story because I back EVERYTHING that I say up! And after the match, Keith I'll bring you some damn tissues so that you can wipe away the blood and tears that you'll shed once i get my hands around that scrawny neck of yours that stands in my way of becoming the FOW Champion!

*Mocks Keith Danielson*

Now that's true......oh that's damn true!

* Scene closes with the deviant One Chris Roderick climbing the turnbuckle and flex posing for the crowd, jumping down from them grabbing the ropes, shaking them then yelling and putting his hands over his waist signaling that the FOW Championship will be his*

[Keith Danielson]

*Keith Danielson is seen sitting on a bench in his locer room, watching the Deviant one's promo for their match this sunday night at Face Off.*

Keith: "Did he just steal one of my catch phrases? Oh, I pitty the fool. And did he just say I won my match last week simply because it was a DQ? ......DQ? What the hell does Dairy Queen have to do with this, he's just salty because the only way he got his win was because he pinned a Lady. I hope he's preparing for the butt kick'n I am about to give him, if he thinks he's leaving that ring with the world title.....He's got another thing coming"

*Keith opens up his locker to get a milk out of it, and when he does......he see's two milk cartons. One is regular white milk, and the other is chocolate milk. Keith gets a very confused look on his face. He's not sure what to do. He keeps looking back and fourth between the two cartons of milk. He closes his eyes real tight and slamms the locker door shut*

Keith: "Who in the heck put those two together? Don't you people know I have a weakness for Milk? If one milk see's me drinking the other one, the situation could get ugly...FAST!!!!"

*Keith pauses and takes a look back at the locker, then into the camera, back to the locker. Finally, he shakes his desire.....for a little bit*

Keith: "Now listen here, Deviant One, you wanna poke fun at my Bingo fiascal? What if it were you, and them old folks were trying to rape you? Ahh, who we kidding, you would have loved it......and then became a resident right next to Hilda. But all jokes aside, you best bring everything you got this sunday......but leave all the excuses at home. Because once I snap your ankle, you won't be able to use any excuses. and it goes like this......Oh It's True!!!.....It's damn True!!!!"

*Keith is heard mumbling something about Copywright infringement as the scene fades*

[The Deviant One]

* The scene opens with 'The Deviant One' Chris Roderick storming through the hall and going in front of a superstar's locker room.
There is a star on the front made from what appears to be construction paper and a name written by crayon saying "Kieth Danielson". Roderick then looks at the name with a confused look and rips it off the wall revealing that Kieth's locker room is actually the janitors closet *


Well, well, well........apparently Kieth was to concerned about his contract that he forgot to read "between the lines"! I mean come on.....small room, dirty walls, but hey there is a bunch of white stuff over in that corner, and I HOPE to God that it's milk and NOT what I think it is! Now Kieth you might say how that the ONLY reason I won my match was because I had to pin Lucy Todd.......in MY point of view, I think I proved that I will go through ANYTHING and ANYBODY to reach my goal! I will do anything that I must to gain the victory and become the FIRST FOW Champion!

And Kieth, if you think that because of all the milk you might have some pretty strong bones, BUT once I get ahold of you......none of the milk in the world will protect you're bones from getting broken by MY hands!

If you thought what I did to Pure Evil a few weeks ago when I spinebusted him through the announcer's table, and when I beat the ever living hell out of him again, and Lucy Todd...........Imagine what I'm going to do to you in the middle of that cage when the title is on the LINE!

*Roderick then continues to walk through Kieth's room and sits in a chair. but as soon as he sits down he gets up in a disguited look on his face and the camera pans in showing a sticky substance on his clothes.*

What the hell has Kieth been doing in here?!

*Roderick then walks out of the room and slams the door behind him*

Kieth, NOT only am I going to kick your ass, I am going to DESTROY you, and the ONLY way you'll be leaving that arena is on a stretcher laying in your own pool of blood, and covered in your own feces because I am going to beat THE shit OUT OF YOU!!!

*The scene closes with Roderick trying to wipe the mess off his clothes with an angry look on his face and him muttering on how he is going to rip Kieth Danielson apart*

[Keith Danielson]

*Keith is seen storiming throught the backstage are, ripping everything off the wall as he passes it and kicking over chairs as well. With every veign in his neck popping out, it's obvious that he is a little bit mad. He walks past Lenny, who tries to get a word with him*

Lenny: "Excuse me, Mr. Danielson, can I get a word with......."

*Lenny has to duck to avoid being hit by a flying chair that Keith Danielson kicked.*

Keith Danielson: (Shouting in anger) "You want a word with the olympic gold medalist? and just what might that be?"

*Lenny Has to wipe the spit from his face that Keith sprayed all over him*

Lenny: "I.......I just wanted to know what has you so hot headed? why are you destroying everything in your path? Is it because of what the Deviant One had to say in his latest promo?"

Keith: (Shouting) "Hell no, you think I am going to be distracted by what that pencil neck geek has to say? Oh no......It's something far more sinister than that........"

*Lenny gets a puzzling look on his face and then begins to ask another question*

Lenny: "Okay then, is it because of Mr. Fox and his thugs attacking you last week?"

Keith: (Still Shouting) "Mr. Who? you talking about that damn bum, Mr. Fox? Are you talking about that convict wanna-be and his notorious thugs?"

*Lenny shakes his head yes*

Keith: (Still Shouting) "Hell no, do think I dwell over petty little crap such as that? Besides, I got the victory.....and thats all that really matters. So, Inspector Gadget, try again"

*Lenny is even more confused now, as he scratches his head, he just throws out some questions to try and find out what might be wrong with Danielson and the reasons for why he is ripping through the halls, destroying everything in his path*

Lenny: "Uh.....is it because.....uh.....it because the Deviant One made fun of your locker room?"

Keith: "Nope! Try again Chuckle Nuts!

Lenny: "Is it because of the whole Bingo Hall ordeal?"

Keith: "Puh-lease, I am sooooooo over that. Next?"

*Lenny gets a look like he regrets ever asking for Keith's time*

Lenny: "I......I....I don't know what else to ask. Can you just tell me?"

*Keith finishes ripping a fire extinguisher off the wall, which almost makes him fall over*

Keith: "It's not about the Deviant One, It's not about Mr. I'm Coo-coo for Co-coa puffs Mr. Cox, It's not about them old hags trying to rape me at the Bingo Hall.....Who could blame them? But I will Tell you what this is all about. I will tell you why My Veigns are filled with boiling blood, I will tell you why I want to gargle with battery acid..............."

Lenny: (Hurrying Keith Up) "What is it Keith?"

Keith: "I want to know who in the hell ate my last Lunch-able? The one with the Oreo Cookies and Cherry flavored Kool-aid? Who in the hell took my Lunch-able Lenny? I'll snap their damn kneck in 3 different spots if I have to!!!"

Lenny: "You mean to tell me, that all of this carnage is all because someone stold your lunch-able?"

Keith: "Whoa, whoa......way whoa, mr. It wasn't just any Lunchable......my grandmother packed that lunchable for me. Was it the Deviant One? WAS IT!!! TELL ME DAMMIT!!!!"

*Lenny, a little frightened now by Keiths actions*

Lenny: "I honestly dont know.....I promise."

*Keith Notices a janitor pushing a cleaning cart up the hall, he also notices the man eating what appears to be his lunch-able. Keith Snaps!!*

Keith: (Shouting as loud as he can) "Alright Buck-o, That's it............."

*Keith grabs the mop in the bucket of the cleaning cart and uses it to choke the janitor, while a bunch of mop water spills onto the floor, both men tumble to the floor. Keith lets go of the Mop and puts the janitor in the ankle Lock. The janitor is screaming in veign, but Keith won't let it go.*

Lenny: "Keith.....Come on Man, he's just a ......"

*Keith throws a roll of toilet paper at Lenny in an attempt to shut him up*

Keith: "The next time, maybe you'll think before you eat my damn lunchable.......just because we share a room, doesn't make you god!!! Now Tap Dammit"

*Scene comes to an end with the janitor Tapping in the dirty mop water that's splashing all up in Keith's mouth*